This article lists the best 10 tips you will ever receive about how to fail in relationships. Paying great attention to them is a sure way to understand how to keep sabotaging your relationships over and over again. Read and internalize with the fullest attention.1. Never take responsibility for your part in the failure of your relationships. Always blame your partners. Taking responsibility shows that you too might be wrong. This can take away some of the respect and love your partner feels towards you. Being sure you are always right is the best way to prove your integrity and show how strong you are!2. Don’t ever try to get in touch and understand the needs which might drive you to sabotage your relationships. Trying to understand what might drive you to sabotage your relationships means that you don’t know yourself 100%. It means you don’t know “who you truly are.”In today’s world, where “knowledge is power”, not knowing “who you are” is a weakness. You can’t allow yourself to believe and assume you have personal needs you are not aware of which might drive you to harm your relationships.There is no reason for you to even consider the possibility that you have needs which cause you to sabotage your relationships (such as: the need to always be in control which drives your partners away from you; the need to always get attention and love which makes you too dependent on your partners; the need to always be “right” which makes you an unpleasant and stubborn person, and so on).3. Don’t even attempt to realize and understand the fears that control you and drive you to sabotage your relationships. It doesn’t make sense that you have fears you are unaware of which harm your relationships. It is certain that you realize your fears and know how to combat them. If you are unsuccessful in your relationships it is not due to fears. There is no reason to suspect you of having fear of commitment (which might drive you to escape from each and every relationship you begin to develop); fear of being alone (which might drive you to jump into a relationship with whoever blinks at you); fear of losing your independence (which drives you to be controlling with your partners); fear of being hurt (which might drive you to be cautious with your partners causing you to never dare to open up), and so on. No. Don’t let anyone suspect you have fears you are unaware of which cause you to sabotage your relationships!4. Don’t ever check whether your expectations from partners and relationships are unrealistic. It is great to have expectations! It is also natural to expect your partner to be there for you all the time; to love you unconditionally; to always understand you; to always remember your birthday. It is great to expect that you and your partner will always be in a good mood; will always be sexually attracted to one another, and so on.If you find out that your expectations are not fulfilled – that your partner doesn’t fulfill them! – it is not your fault! You have done nothing wrong! There is no reason for you to contemplate whether your expectations are unrealistic and try to modify them. If your relationship fails, there is no reason to suspect your expectations did any damage to it. Just find another partner!5. Believe in your fantasies and make sure they materialize! Fantasies are part of life. They give you something to dream about, something to look forward to. Where will you be without your fantasies? The more fantasies you have about partners and relationships the richer your relationship can be! Together with your partner you can reach the highest sky!Fantasize that your love will be just like in the movies. That your partner will supply all your needs. That the two of you will do everything together and never fight. That you will always agree on everything.Hang on to your fantasies! Let no one tell you they are unrealistic! They are part of “who you are” – of your perception of reality, of the way you approach love and relationships. Don’t ever give them up!6. Remember that you are always right! Whenever conflicts and arguments arise between you and your partner, never think – not even for a minute – that your partner may be right, and never ever compromise! Compromises in life indicate weakness, and once you compromise your partner might use it against you time and again in the future. You need to be assertive, even aggressive, knowing what you want and how to pursue it. Never succumb! If your partner doesn’t like it – it’s your partner’s problem, not yours!OR, by the same token -7. Always be submissive; compromising; giving in; allowing abuse; loving and understanding. Never allow yourself to do and express what you want to see taking place between you and your partner. Never express a different idea to your partner’s. Never refuse to do what your partner wants. The more you are there for your partner without any mutuality, the better it is for the relationship.8. Always react towards your partner and behave the same way you have in past relationships. Prove to yourself that you are consistent. That you don’t change from one relationship to another. There is no reason to choose different reactions and behaviors with different partners. If your past relationships failed it isn’t because something you did or not; it is more likely because something your partner did. Or maybe “the time wasn’t right”; or you were “too busy pursuing your career”, and so on. So there is no reason for you to devote time to thinking what to do differently in a future relationship. 9. Never try to change anything related to “who you are” and the way you behave in a relationship. The process of growing up has taken you years to arrive at where you are. During the years you have unconsciously learned and internalized (from your parents; the society you grew up in; books, movies, fairy-tales and more) a belief-system, a perception of reality; messages about love and relationships.In your adult life you continue to hang on to these. And this is fine. There is no reason for you to give them up. No reason to attempt to change anything you carry on with you for so many years. You are doing just fine. If your relationship fails, that’s too bad, but it isn’t a reason for you to begin doubting yourself or begin to “work” on finding out what has driven you to fail. Things happen, sometimes more than once.10. Resist, fight and reject any advice/suggestion to develop self-awareness.Self-Awareness is something only “losers” develop; only those who “don’t find themselves”; only those who “are not certain about themselves.”If you know who you are; if you appreciate yourself; if you feel you have a fine level of self-esteem – why develop Self-Awareness? It can only make your partner doubt your integrity; your strength; your stability.There is no reason for you to become aware of the ways in which you keep sabotaging your relationships time and again. Avoid any temptation to get to know and understand yourself better. Be and stay “who you are”. After all, consistency in life is a virtue!
What Is a Hard Money Loan and How It Works?
A hard money loan refers to a type of loan. However, what makes it different from other types of loans is that it’s secured on real property. Moreover, they are considered short-term bridge or last resort loans. Basically, they are used in different real estate transactions. The lenders are either companies or individuals, not banks. Read on to know more.
Key Takeaways
Given below are some of the salient features of these loans.
Primarily, they are used for real estate transactions. And this money comes from a company or individual instead of a bank.
Typically, this type of loan is granted for a short period of time. The purpose is collect money quickly at a lower ration of LTV and higher cost.
Since these loans are not executed traditionally, the funding time is reduced is usually quite quick.
It’s interesting to note that the terms of these loans are negotiated between the borrower and the lender. Plus, these loans use the real estate as collateral.
Although repayment may result in default, they still leave a lot of profit for the lender.
How does a Hard Money Loan Work?
Usually, the terms of hard money loans are based on the value of the real estate, not the borrower’s creditworthiness. Since conventional lenders like banks are not the lenders, private lenders or firms are most interested in this business.
Also, these loans may be a good choice for property flippers who have plans to renovate a property and sell it again. Here you may be thinking the cost of this type of loan is quite high. But the good thing is that the extra cost is offset by the loan will be paid off rather quickly. In most cases, the loan is granted for a period of 1 to 3 years. Aside from this, they offer a lot of advantages as well.
Aside from this, this type of loan is considered a great investment as well. You can find a lot of people out there who have done this business and are happy with the practice.
Special Considerations
Typically, unlike the bank financing or the financing programs offered by government, the cost of these loans is quite higher for a typical buyer. However, this cost reflects the higher risk that the loan granter bears. But the great thing is that the extra cost is a worth it as the money is available quickly. The approval process is less stringent and the repayment schedule is also quite flexible.
Also, these loans can be a great choice to deal with turnaround situations. For instance, if you need money quickly for a short-term financing but you have poor credit score, you can give it a go. Since the amount is issued pretty quickly, you can use the funds to stave off a foreclosure, for instance.
Pros and Cons
Now, let’s take a look at some pros and cons of hard money loans.
Pros
First of all, the approval process is quite faster unlike the process of mortgage or a conventional loan. The thing is that private lenders are interested in this type of business as they can make decisions quickly without running a lot of checks. In other words, they won’t check your credit history. These are the steps that slow down the process and make the borrower wait for weeks.
Typically, these investors only care about the repayments. Plus, they have the opportunity to resell the property in case the borrower fails to make payments and becomes a defaulter.
Another advantage is that the lenders don’t apply the conventional underwriting process. Instead, they evaluate all of the cases one by one. Often, applicants can sit with the lender and discuss the repayment schedule based on their circumstances. Aside from this, borrowers can take advantage of a lot of opportunities during the time they have. So, this is another great advantage you can enjoy if you go for this option.
Cons
Since the real estate is used as a security against default, these loans feature lower LTV rations unlike the regular loans. This ration is between 50 and 70% unlike the ration of regular loans, which is 80%. However, if you are an experienced flipper, it can be even higher.
Aside from this, the interest rates of these loans are higher as well. For subprime loans, the rate of interest can be even higher. In 2019, for instance, the rates of hard money loans were between 7.5 and 15% based on the period the loan is granted for. By contrast, the prime interest rate was only 5.25% in the same period.
Another disadvantage is that these lenders may not offer loans against owner-occupied property because of compliance rules and regulatory oversight.
Hope, now you understand what hard money loans are and the pros and cons associated with them. For more information, you can consult your mortgage broker.
Increasing Personal Productivity
When it comes to achieving your goals, one of the best things you can do is to increase your personal productivity. People who get more done in a day aren’t exactly smarter than everyone else, they just know what to focus their limited amount of time on and cut down on things that waste their time. These people are simply just more efficient. When you become more efficient, you will produce more and that in turn will allow you to achieve more.There are lots of ways to improve personal productivity like having a list, prioritizing it, and checking the tasks off as you complete them. Here are some other things you can try as well.Schedule a set amount of time during the day to work on your most important task. Many times, the thing that we have to do most is the thing that we least want to do. In order to ensure that we get it done and not procrastinate on doing it will be to set a specific time where you will do nothing but that task. Typically, you want to set a time in the morning. After lunch, as you know, can be a tiring time to work on anything important.When you are actually working on this task, you want to make sure you get rid of all disturbances. That means, put your cellphone on silent, let your phone calls go to voice mail, and inform everyone around you to not interrupt. By doing this, you will have a solid hour or 2 of focus time. This will allow you to finish what you need to do efficiently because you won’t get side tracked or lose focus. With other tasks that are of less importance and don’t require much concentration, you can tackle that while doing other small tasks at the same time.Increasing productivity isn’t exactly rocket science but it does take a little bit of experimenting. Some things will just work better for you than others. For some, having this focus time won’t work since they need interaction and movement to get things done. What you want to do is measure your results in order to find out what’s working or not. You can do this by simply keeping time of how long it takes you to do certain tasks. When you find one way of doing it helps you get it done faster, stick with that strategy.